I was looking at pictures of when I was very little...you know, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-10. I was so so so happy. Smiling in every picture. Enjoying life.
Then I see my teenage years. probably 11-15. I can just feel the darkness pressing down on my again. I was so depressed during those years, it was unbelievable. I didn't like to smile. I was fake. I dressed in baggy jeans and huge shirts, because I was ashamed of my body. Don't ask why I was depressed, because I have no idea. Satan was totally trying to get me down, so depressed that I would be suicidal. I don't remember having any suicidal thoughts, but I thought it would be so much easier if I was a boy. Boys didn't like me. I thought I was ugly, and looking back, I was...on the outside, I made myself look ugly so I wouldn't have to face rejection. On the inside, even more so. Maybe I wanted people to feel sorry for me. I don't know.
All I know is that I am so grateful that I was redeemed. Completely. 100%.
♥Love you guys.
Off to worship at muh church.:)
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