The bitterness that brings death.

If there's one thing that I hate the most that has taken hold of me in the past, it's bitterness. 


Bitterness against family, against friends, against teachers, against God. 


It ruins. It destroys. It takes hold of innocent hearts broken and plans with hatred and spite to turn your tender heart cold and hard. It makes you think that all people are untrustworthy and everyone is out to get you. It makes you paranoid. It makes you...unlovable. To yourself. To your family. You begin to hate yourself. You don't want to get hurt, and no one will be allowed close enough to hurt you.


I would rather feel pain than feel nothing at all. When you don't feel pain, your heart is hardened and cold towards the things of God. No. I want my heart tender, so God can take those things away and plant LIFE. It's gonna hurt. Anything worthwhile is going to. But it is so worth it. Bitterness adds on a weight that I just can't handle. It's so heavy and ugly. 


I'm not perfect. I don't pretend to be perfect. I don't WANT to pretend to be perfect. It's too much work. I just want to be like my Jesus the best that I can. I just wanna be free. And my Jesus freed me from that bitterness.


And baby...I ain't going back.