Tonight before school started, I wanted to shake my head, pound my fists against a wall, and scream at something, preferably God. I wanted to yell "Why God?!" I seriously needed a punching bag tonight. All throughout class, I was praying and barely paying attention to layers in my Digital Darkroom class. I was asking God to take away the pain that I so easily let into my heart. My heart was physically hurting tonight. I didn't know I could care so much...
My point is...it's okay to yell at God. Guaranteed he's not to blame for your problems, but it's okay to yell, scream at God. He can take it. It will sort your emotions out, and then you'll be ready for a good cry. I still need to cry my eyes out. It's coming soon. ha. Can't wait for that one.
So later on tonight, my friends from class just started making me laugh a lot and I couldn't stop. It was cleansing. It was awesome. Christians should be the most joyful people around!
As I was driving in my car and listening to some good old rap plus KTIS (what a combination!), I just started smiling the whole time. God is my lover. He LOVES me. Why should I look for acceptance elsewhere? He ADORES me. He loves my laugh, my hair, my eyes. He loves snuggling with me. He loves what makes me laugh, He loves it when I've found a relationship with that special someone and we let Him be a part of it. (Granted...never HAD that kind of relationship, but it's coming (:) He loves it when I have friends that can make me smile anytime. He gave me those friends for a reason. And I adore them.
Yell, cry, scream, punch something (Preferably NOT a person...or a wall...), but in the end, laughter really is the best medicine.
I love you guys. and...this may not make sense to anyone at all, but I need to verbally say I forgive you.
♥
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