Saturday, January 23, 2010

Heart like Jesus.

You ask me what I love most. This is my answer: to be in the Presence of God. I don't ever want to leave it and I don't have to. I bring it with me wherever I go. But there are those times, when it is so thick that the only thing you can do is go down on your knees and worship the king of glory. 

What kind of love is this, that I will willingly follow Him anywhere...anywhere He goes? I've always said I love God with my whole heart...but I realized, I haven't given Him my full heart yet. 

My blog name is "Faint with love for my Beloved." I don't think I actually became faint with love for Him until today, as I was worshipping him...and his love like a hurricane was roaring through me, where I couldn't see anything, hear anything, think about anything other than my Jesus. His glory just completely...ahh. That's what it is like, giving Him your full heart. And I don't want to do it any other way now. After being in that place, there is NO going back, whatsoever.

A revolution. And satan can't do anything in his meaningless power to stop it.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

He is jealous for me...

I may be slightly prejudiced when I say I love my pastor--he's my dad. :) But I sincerely love it when he preaches...you would think I'd be sick of him talking, but when he gets up there, he just lets God lead him. It's so awesome.

Anyways. Onto my blog, which by the way, is inspired by my dad's last sermon!
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There is a jealousy in the love of God that won't allow us to have any other lovers that keep us from Him. I just didn't realize how much until He totally broke down some crap in my life and revealed my "lovers" to me. I just had to give it all the Him and say "Here. Destroy them. I want nothing...nothing at all, but You." One of the questions my dad asked that completely pierced my heart was this: "Will you allow Jesus to become ruthless and destroy any other lovers that keep you from Him?" It made me realize how much Jesus means to me. 

As I was allowing these other lovers into my life, my relationship with my heavenly Daddy was decreasing. I was putting my time and effort into this other relationship rather than into the most important one. You could see it in my attitude. And I have to let those other lovers go. It's so hard. 

One of the things that Dan Knottley said was "He's God, He shouldn't have to shout...He should have the floor at all times." God had to shout to get my attention. I ignored His gentle, quiet whispers. I had to wait until He shouted and my heart was hurt a little, until I listened. I don't want that.

I want to be so in tune with my Jesus, that when it is the quietest whisper, I listen with my whole heart. 

Anyways. He is jealous for you. Don't allow any other lovers to come between you and Him.<3

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Prince

This is a poem I wrote...about...4 months ago? I haven't found my prince,(Not that I know of.:-p) but this is kinda what I came up with. It's going against the flow of "romantic" stories and books and movies. Sorry, I COMPLETELY suck at poems. 100% suck. :-)


The butterflies in her stomach eased
As he looked into her eyes
With that look of his
He leaned forward
And their lips met
Fireworks didn't explode
And her heart didn't stop beating
Everything stayed the same
But on the inside, she was changed
She was no longer a little girl
Dreaming of her prince
She was a grown woman
And she had found him
He wasn't in shining armor
like when she had dreamed
but rather had a few rusty spots
That had been cleaned
His honor shone through that armor
His valor like no other
He made mistakes
But had a Daddy who forgave
This was her prince
And he was so much better
than the ones in her dreams 
and fairy tales.


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Aaand that's it.:-) I think...that society holds the bar either way to high or way too low...find your prince, he will be perfect! I've settled for that fact that no man, no matter how gorgeous or in love with God he is, is perfect. I gotta let that dream go; I have to let go of these fairy tales, the stories I read in books and see in movies. It is amazing how much of my thinking on romance is completely based off of movies and books that I read. That's how I based my emotions. RIDICULOUS. I'm still holding out for my prince, but I'm not expecting fireworks to go off, either in my head or real, when he first kisses me.


On the other hand, society's view of princes can be tarnished COMPLETELY. The bad boy. The bad boy that all the girls want. I don't want a BA boy either. He has to be humble and loving and love kids! Sure, he can ride a motorcycle (hehe), but drop that whole bad boy act. 


Anyways. Ravings of this late night must come to an end. Have a great night filled with dreams from/of our Heavenly Father.:)


~Rachel Mae~

Monday, January 11, 2010

In my secret place, I find peace...

Lately, God has just been giving me creativity and I've been writing. I may or may not share some of it on here, but I hope that I will be writing on this blog more often. I find it freeing. This is how I can express myself. Anyways! Back to what I want to write about...

A guest speaker came to our Saturday Night Fire services last Saturday. He is an amazing, humble, great guy. Everything--and I mean, EVERYTHING--he said completely spoke to my heart.

He spoke about peace. And finding peace in your secret place--your place where you go to be alone with God. To settle back and rest and to not worry! This is somewhat of a big issue for me. Relationships in my life that I have been constantly worrying about, so much that they were invading my dream time and making "Sleeping peacefully" non-existent.

My secret place with God is where I will truly learn to be like Him...to have His glory shine on me. I want to be more like Jesus. This man was also talking about how Jesus healed from being peaceful and restful. He did not exert any effort in healing people. It happened when he commanded healing and it came, because of His ability to find rest wherever he went . Sorry, I'm just blabbing out my thoughts as they come, so if this is hard to understand, I apologize.

One of the things he said was this: "The only storm you have authority in is the one you sleep through" the one you have rest in. (Bill Johnson actually said that...Dan just quoted him.:))

I bawled through his whole message. It was as if God was saying "Rachel..this is for you. I love you"

I am so glad to serve a God..not serve, WORSHIP, ADORE, LOVE ON, a God who cares so much for everyone. While we were still sinners, He loved us. So how much more does he love us when we are His children? Awesome awesome awesome.

Thanks for putting up with my random, emotion-filled babbling. I appreciate it.:-)